Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
I now officially know the distance between my two boobs is one twizzler.
When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
I do what I can to inject something into your life every day. Today, humor. Saturday. Penis.
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
It would be like if I said I had the cure for cancer and my explanation was I like turtles.
I just made a flawless coverstory for why I dont have my car and why I left the party on foot. #adultererskills
Why did you fed-x me a peanut butter sandwich?
It seemed like the thing to do. There's popcorn on it too.
STOP smoking sooo much weed. Damn
Also, my old intern Lizzie whom you fed pizza to last night wants to hang out with you
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
I think my roomie is silently judging me for spraining my foot by having sex in a bounce house
so the bounce house and tequila was good idea then?
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