I hate the awkward morning-after-I-took-your-virginity conversations.
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
You'd be surprised at how many crooked penises are out there
Carpe scrotum. Grab life by the balls.
Come over. I'll eat you out and we'll make bacon.
best text I've received ever.
It's basically the same plan, only step one gets revised to "look hot enough that he forgets I fucked his roommate"
somehow this turned into a costume party you have to get here now with my banana suit or I'm wearing my birthday suit
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
Just in case you blacked out, we had sex, you came in me, we need plan B, we fell off your top bunk, broke your roommates chair, i still like you, but i'm in pain and am going to bed
Ugh I realized he only responds to my snaps when I’m eating a popsicle
Why are male brains so small?
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
Randomize
