I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
after you took your Demerol you started flying around and talking like the robot ship on the movie Stealth. then you licked my iPhone and declared the mission a success.
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
I need a "closed for the season, thanks for a great summer" sign for my vagina
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
I'm sure the lady doing my pedicure could smell the sex on me.
Too much dab too little lung dying šµšµšµ
Write this down so you can tell me in the morning. "That bartender needs to be in my mouth."
Found like seven bruises in the shower. One was shaped like a hand. Best. Sex. Ever.
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
Randomize
