"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
That bar we were at last night smelled like cougars. Virginia Slims, Aqua Net and Summer's Eve.
you know you've been in a long relationship when u start retiring sex toys
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
Hey wes just called me saying he was asleep outside by the pond at my apt complex
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
I'm about to get my nails done. Would the polish name "meet me at the altar" be too straight forward for a first date?
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
I woke up on a different floor than I went to sleep on. Can't find my shoes.
I am mentally ready for anal.
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
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