naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
Freshman just walked up and thanked me for letting him hide under my bed when the cops showed up to the house last weekend
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
The arresting officer told me "you probably get this a lot, but you look like anthony kiedis".
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
I can't remember if I puked before or after the shots of absinthe. Or why I thought shots of absinthe was a good idea.
You fell asleep on the toilet and he was like uh should I take her off?
I'm tempted to randomly yell out 'SO HOW IS YOUR UNDERAGE GIRLFRIEND' but that would be callous
Im blaming it on six shots of Jack, loneliness and a chemical imbalance. That's the best I can think of...
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
Randomize
