Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
I'm going to get a baby outfit made and send it to her that says: "My husband fucked his subordinate and all I got was another baby".
no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
I don't even know how sober sex starts anymore
Is it sad that I woke up to more "Happy Holidays" texts on 4/20 than I did on Christmas?
My nipple ring got caught on the rug again. Tequila makes me unlearn these things
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
Why did you make me get in the car with you and then not give me a ride? I woke up in a bar with a blanket on me.
things I never thought I would say vol. 24 "Bagpipes just remind me that my relationship is over"
I totally almost forgot you fucked that guy. St. Patty's bar crawls always have a drawback.
I told the person I was on the phone with to hold on while I looked for my phone. I think it's time to stop doing dabs.
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
you never know when your going to find a surprise from me in your bed...it keeps you on your toes.
Randomize
