Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
just saw an anti-abortion rally outside of the courthouse...so naturally i tossed them out a coat hanger i found in my car
It just sucks seeing everyone get flowers but me...
yeah, but they die. it takes a while, but they die. just like all of these kids relationships will. tequila doesnt die. its a live in the moment thing... like a valentines day one night stand. so long run, tequila is the better gift.
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
I should go buy the economy size box of condoms and sprinkle a path like rose petals to my bed... Think he'd get the hint?
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
You kept apologizing for not offering me some of your Whisky, which you referred to as "Jesus Nectar".
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
you fail at everything in life besides blacking out
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
You literally just told me you're ditching me because of pizza. PIZZA? Wow.
I have no reason to put on pants anymore. This is my new reality.
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