loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
A woman in the waiting room at the STD clinic told me that she is going to pray to jesus for my penis.
and people in Baltimore still get a bad wrap.
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
explain the missing patches of hair on my cat. now.
She always acts like she's doing me a favor with a hand job. I've been giving myself hand jobs for almost 20 years.
So if we break up over this are you still gonna come over and do my dishes?
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
Called my ex last night, told her I wanted to bang like we use too, her fiance was in the car, I was on speaker phone. NO MORE TEQUILA!
Did she say Ok?
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
I went by my nickname in rehab. It made it feel more like summer camp.
I was giving him a blowjob but we had to stop because he started crying when his cat walked in and started staring at us
Of all the kinds of relationships I've had in my life, I'd have to say, lab-partner-with-benefits takes the fuckin cake
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
Randomize
