p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
The walls in my apartment are so thin that sometimes when I fart, I stop to listen if people are laughing next door.
My birthing hips are way to big to be around all these juveniles.
Banged a lazy eyed chick last night. It was like fucking an iguana.
I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
Do you remember calling me and dedicating a shot to me?
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
1 be hot 2 flirt with everyone 3 use hotness to make people do things for you. It's a simple model.
By the end of the night I was using him as a leg rest and he was handing me pizza rolls when I wiggled my hand. It's a proven method.
Dude! I just figured out I can successfully hide a 4oz flask between my boobs without endangering my cleavage! College: conquered!
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
He literally ejaculated and I hit Uber
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
Randomize
