I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
I wouldn't accept the money so he folded the $20 bill into an origami puppy and left a note saying "Not blowjob money"
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
I thought you'd have died of alcohol poisoning years ago! How'd you get my number?
You just kept saying "they don't make cigarettes for squirrels. Yet."
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
It's 9am. I'm four lines ahead of you already. Wake up.
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
How the hell do you leave a party with a kitten? It's missing and everyone knows it was you.
thanks for not telling him i named my trumpet after his dick
It's George Washington's Birthday. Can you not put on some red white and blue and get really drunk for the original Merican??
He added me to his contacts as 'boot and rally'...have you ever been more proud to be related to me?
I can't wait to tell mom.
I remember telling you that I think Taylor Swift has stolen my essence. I still think that's true.
I found your birth control, it was in your Crown Royal bag.
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