How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
life lesson #1: a fart during an awkward silence between 2 strangers doesnt make it less awkward.
Just got kicked in the balls by a girl in tap shoes. Fuck EVERYTHING
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
i just masturbated in footie pajamas. there's no judgement here.
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
God this is like a meg Ryan movie without the restaurant orgasms
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
i gotta stop hooking up with people just to get to their dogs
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
Yeah well I just had an orgasm on my bathroom floor so there's a first for everything I guess
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
Randomize
