the stripper made me go home becuz she had to take her kid to a birthday party in the morning
Hows this for an invention: a toilet that weighs your poop
My superpower would be to be able to make a chick instantly start her period just by thinking about it
i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
imagine a blue Jetta with an ILLINOIS license plate that read JISLORD..... upon pondering it for 10minutes I came to the conclusion that J stood for JESUS and IF the license plate had enough room it would read "Jesus Is Lord"
He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
She pulled vodka outta the dryer and told me to drink it
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
I know you're on a date and I should leave you alone but about twenty minutes ago I realized I haven't been spanked in years so if you're still looking for a birthday present, you know, consider it.
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
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