who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
this girl with a french braid down the center of her head won't stop talking about the benefits of the free market. i'm hungover, bloated and haven't slept for 4 days. shut up french braid girl, shut up.
i just put all of my beerlympics medals into my academic awards box. i would say they are my greatest achievement since college.
I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
i'm just sitting here watching hocus pocus, eating takeout, and taking self esteem quizzes online while everyone is out partying. you tell me how my night is.
So I think I might just embrace the awkwardness and say he fingerblasted her cause thats the greatest word in existence
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
Charging my vibrator at work. Pray to god I don't forget it!!!
Here's the thing. Kinda drunk. Eating leftover soup. In bed. Watching Disney channel.
Randomize