its like my vagina has this homing beacon out to all the guys saying "come find me, i havent been shaved in weeks"
i really did not know you could catch crabs from a sofa until now
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
Dude in front of me just jumped out of line at Starbucks to go puke. Vegas in prime form.
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
I like it when Amish boys stare at my boobs, even tho I can't tell if it's in appreciation or disgust. Rumspringa, mothafuckers.
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
There was this blissful moment of peace and quiet... then you ran past our window with a lit firecracker in hand going, "SHIT. SHIT. SHIT!"
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
And two different second-graders said my make up was pretty. It's left over from last night bc I woke up 5 min before I was supposed to leave.
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
Randomize
