Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
So I was talking to her on the phone last night and had to mute it so I could take a crap.
Side Note: My mute button doesn't work.
just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
It's one thing to send dick shots. It's a whole other thing to send unimpressive dick shots while wearing crocs.
he confused my yawn for an orgasm
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
I have effectively turned laundry day into a drinking game.
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
Just don't have sex while watching Home Alone. It will ruin Christmas for you.
Randomize
