Just assessed the damage in the bath. Two love bites. One bruise on the inner thigh. Strange awareness of what i'm assuming is my cervix. I've definitely missed you. x
There is something about weddings and lines being done off my ass
Just found a picture of me licking the bouncers ear last night
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
I'm on my way, but at some point we're going to have to settle who gave who crabs the last time
I would say I'm the man in the relationship but I'm cuddled on the couch eating cake mix and water.
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
You chugged 6 beers in a row and then outed your boss at a party last night.
Had to sacrifice my vibrator batteries to the thermostat gods. I had a dirty dream and also almost a heat stroke.
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
I just texted him from the other room to come have sex with me-stress relieved
You are such a millennial
Randomize
