Dude, the girl i fucked last night left wearing my high school musical shirt you bought me. she also left her panties here though.
The one with Zac Efrons face on it? You definitely got the short in of the stick. i'd rather have the shirt
fuck. yeah me too. i don't even think these panties would fit me
yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
oh no, im for sure still drunk. i wana eat evrything in the fancy feast commercial... everything
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
Been in the ER for 3 hours now. This hospitals transition to paperless is not going well. But my doctor looks like Elton John and just gave me percocet
I think you have the right to know, the water bottle you drank out of the other night is the bottle we use to catch what drips from the toilet. Love you!
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
Was so drunk I had to masturbate face up cuz I thought I was gonna be suffocated by the pillows.
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
She asked for references to decide whether she wanted to have sex with me. And she was serious.
Whatever you have to do, STALL THEM. Your toothbrush is in the kitchen, my pants are on the balcony, and I don't have eyebrows.
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
Randomize
