some old guy just shit himself in my section. everyones leaving
My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
please don't call me when you're wasted. i don't feel like having any other future arguments at 3:18am about how to hang up your phone. you have a flip phone, you should know regardless of how fucked up you are.
Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
He gave me a promise ring. He promised that he will imagine me as every girl he fucks in college.
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
i distinctly remember leaping through the apartment to rescue the clam chowder burning in the kitchen
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
Remember those girls from the bar? The tall and short blondes?
Is this a story I am going to hate you for?
Dude, you were so wasted she couldn't wait. She was grinding your face while you were passed out in the yard.
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
You've never sent a girl a dick pic?
Call me old fashioned
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.
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