Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
Mars, I'm going to name my child horatio mars. He will hate me till he gets high. Then he'll understand
My vagina makes bad decisions like its her job
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
My head weighs 7 pounds. i know this because i spent the majority of the night passed out in the bathroom, using the scale as a pillow.
He shaved off his eyebrows. This is not my life.
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
he just looked at me, said "i think i'll keep you around, you put the seat back up and everything," and then burst into tears.
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
What would you say is the recommended tip for a hotel maid who has to clean up vomit on just about every surface of a hotel bathroom?
It's like sexual waterboarding. You gave me sex so good I'm comparing it to torture. Jesus.
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
Randomize
