Moving to Utah. Got sick of alcohol and have a severe wife shortage.
so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
My therapist says she wants to work on my 'trust issues'. I think she's found the cash cow within.
before tonight, i was terrified of what tequila would make me do. but all it did was make me hook up with a movie star. sooo basically tequila's my new fave
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
If you are wondering why there is half eaten pizza in your pocket it's because you were passed out with it in your hand in my bathtub. Today's your b-day and thought I'd give you a good idea about what happened last night as a present
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
I feel like I just did it with Buster from Arrested Development. Taking a shower. #winefail
I don't know man. I fell outside Pizza Hut and an employee had to perform first aid. But I think I got free pizza. So it was worth it.
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
Randomize
