im sitting at a bagel shop wearing a princess crown hungover and have a sweater that is not mine.
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
I just realized my life is a timeline of drunken injuries.
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
Hey, who is this? Sorry, you're in my phone as "you better remember".
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
He wouldn't let me leave his house until he made me orgasm once for every year I've been alive. The birthday sex song did not prepare me for this.
Just bought shock top, Trojans, double shots and baby oil. At 8 am. While the lady in front of me bitched about her expired coupons.
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
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