There's a girl here with sideburns. I gave her your number, you can thank me later.
I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
Just saw a guy at the gas station legitimately dressed in exactly what my costume was last night. Fuck his life.
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
Easy Mac is falling out of my sweatshirt as I'm walking down the street.
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
So. She dumped me today.
Well, maybe you shouldn't have referred to going down on her as "Dumpster-Diving".
A little sexual choking never killed anyone. And if it did, they died happy.
DON'T YOU TELL ME I HAVE HERPES ON MY BIRTHDAY. THAT IS MOST DEFINITELY NOT A HAPPY BIRTHDAY.
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
Randomize
