Cold hands, warm shart.
Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
You were mumbling a lot and offered me 20 dollars to leave you alone
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
I need a good reason NOT to eat this entire jar of nutella right now
Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
I woke up in a strange bathroom. Was I blonde when you left me last night?
I managed to get through my meeting without throwing up in someone else's office, so there's that for an accomplishment today.
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
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