My therapist said that she thinks i may have a sex addiction. I think she may be a terrible therapist.
Want me to drive you to Dr. Drew's sex rehab?
Nah, cause then i cant masturbate to that show anymore.
You text me last night that you invented a new food. Cheese-less grilled cheese. Congrats, you made toast.
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
I got kicked out of a mexican restaurant last night for being too drunk. This is getting dangerously close to rock bottom
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
the gays at disneyland are vicious
I swear god is testing me by giving me awesome guys with tiny penises
He thought my hair would soak it up. I HAD TO CUT IT OFF.
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
I am literally so hung over that I just opened up my emergency kit, got out a survival meal replacement bar and ate it.
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
Randomize