Came home and the girl was sitting on the steps "talking" on her ipod touch AND was halfway done eating a raw cucumber.
I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
Well now that I've given all the athletes mono there goes our chance of winning any conference championship
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
I had to break up with him he didn't understand my priorities. I'm sorry but Saturday nights are for pot and Doctor Who. I'm not going to change who I am.
I have feelings that need drinking.
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
She kissed me, then said "mmm your face tastes like it needs my pussy on it."
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
My friends say stay away from him but it’s still 2017 so I’m allowed to make shit decisions until midnight hahah
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
I don't know what kind of bucket list you have, but having sex with a tree isn't on mine...
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