Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
last night a police horse bit me when i was wasted. even the animal kingdom knows i'm no good
I had to explain to the waiter that I'm not the DD because I can't drive, but as the Designated 'Make Sure No One Gets Roofied Or Hit By A Car On The Walk Home'-er, I should still get the free drinks.
I just had the weirdest moment. Made eye contact at the bar with a girl who has seen my vagina.
Apparently when your theatre teacher asks who the best actor of our time is, Nicolas Cage is not the right answer.
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
This electrician is just ripping my house apart and I'm too hungover to ask questions
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
I have a horrible feeling I left my dildo in the kitchen today after washing it. This is my life.
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
I woke up upside down with my head in your ottoman and like a foot of space between the ottoman and chair.. My legs were straight up in the air... Yes. Your mother found me.
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
I just drunkenly emailed my feminist dissertation as a resignation letter for my call center job. What am I doing with my life!?
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