you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
So there is this guy preaching the word of God outside our club. I went up to him and said, "God made this body, and he made it for premarital sex." Sup, Hell?
can't believe I ate straight coffee grounds to stay awake for that
The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
I'm confused about why you felt the need to ask me to buy you life alert for christmas at 3:28 this morning.
you're not a real person. you're actually just like a box of wine that can talk
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
The spray paint was a bad idea, 'insert penis here' isn't coming off
They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
Fell off the toilet trying to reach to put my tampon in the garbage. Pride hurts real bad.
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
I forgot wine drunk hurts
Randomize
