Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches.
She went home with him because he works at Jimmy John's and his car "smelled like meat"
He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
I woke up to a 3rd person picture of my own dick sent from a 1-800 number..
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
be warned: you might find a baby hampster in my bra
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
And pointless. I'm fully vested in all my calories coming from booze today. The salad just fucks that shit up
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
Randomize
