The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
cynthia nixon should never get laid more than me
NEWSFLASH - my freind is drunk and admitted that he hates having sex with dogs. should i help him or let him be??
He also left me a wonderful voice mail..... and is now asking me where the planters peanut guy is.
You should probably go find him.
Definitely just saw a grown man at wal mart wearing high heels and carrying a baby
What the fuck were you doing at wal mart?
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
Succesfully slept on the roof at work for 3.5 hours without getting caught. I need a promotion
Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing
He answered his phone while he was eating me out and proceeded to yell at his wife for interrupting lunch...impressed or rock bottom?
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
"He was so not worth staining my backseat for."
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
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