yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
Some broad at the bar just asked me how much money I make. I don't know whats worse, the question or the answer.
be a good friend and just tell me i'm not pregnant
My mom is wearing Ed Hardy. There aren't words.
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
Just had a stripper snatch my glasses off my face with her ass
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
SHE JUST SHOVED MY HAND DOWN HER PANTS AT THE BAR
Don't text me with that hand
let me just inform you that suppository-ing xanax is glorious
She actually purred while I was balls deep in her! I have never been so proud to buy plan b at 6:30 in the morning.
i'm eating chex mix in the shower while texting. i feel accomplished.
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
Randomize
