people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
They told me I spent half the night at the club with one ball hanging out my shorts. Apparently it got me 1 free drink, 2 numbers, and thrown out.
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
I'm eating mac and cheese for dinner that way when I puke later it'll be festive halloween orange.
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
why the fuck are my pubes caked with bread crumbs?
HIS TAN HAS PUT ME TO SHAME. HE TOOK HIS PANTS OFF AND HIS DICK LOOKED LIKE A GHOST
I imagine my service panda will provide sufficient protection. At the very least it will be an irresistible cuddly distraction while I make good my escape.
Yeah I was just reminiscing about that time a seagull shit on your head at the beach
So my ex vomited in front of my door and passed out there
I think I just shit out all my problems.
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
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