i passed out on the floor in my hallway and woke up with my dog licking himself 2 inches from my face. my first reaction? envy
oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
I just took a bite of a bagel at school and it tasted like weed. If I am high for my test in 2 hours I'm gonna kick someones ass
I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
Using the ceiling fan to slice the hotdogs in mid-air can only be contributed to our liberal use of 1800.
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
Leaving the phone at home last night was the best decision I ever made.... Though I still managed to text her and now I have 2 phones...
I'm about to do the walk of shame in a christmas onesie. What would I do without christmas sweater party season?
I used to think not drinking while I was pregnant was not gonna be a problem, but I now I'm like shit that's a long time
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
I love that you'd blow off your high school reunion to get shit faced in an aquarium with us
Um. We all know how I feel about sea life
Do you remember whose house we're in?
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
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