Just gargled Fireball to get the fish taco taste out of my mouth. Almost as good as gum.
the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
He was dressed in a pink dressing gown feeding people ketamine from a plastic sword he called Excalibur. how was your Monday?
no you went to jail because you don't know how to whisper when offering a cop a blow job. I'm sure him having a chick partner didn't help.
Just pulled back my covers. Jizz. Jizz everywhere. Hipster jizz everywhere on my only set of sheets.
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
Note to Self: Never again eat a weed brownie by yourself two hours before a tornado warning in your exact location.
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
Randomize
