he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
It tastes like I coughed up blood....hello liver damage, I've been expecting you.
he said i give him, and i quote, "emotional blue balls"
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
we found you in the closet, clutching coats that werent yours for stability
There's nothing like sitting directly behind someone you fucked 5 years ago at church on Easter Sunday
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
Dude, nobody just eats a banana these days. This chick wanted it. She wanted to get down with Charlie Brown.
Tried to land my foot on his shoulder and kicked him in the face. Then I fell into a homeless man's bike and posed with a buffalo head. How was your night?
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
you were just in my dream and you looked at me and said "Christmas is cold." I think you're wasted even in my dreams.
Randomize
