then he goes, "ok, i have to go talk to the girl i'm semi-talking to/dating and see if i'm in trouble" WHAT IS MY LIFE?!
dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
Say "Steve Buscemi is hot." with a straight face.
Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
You know its bad when convincing your mother you were masturbating is the better alternative
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
Nice. Don't spend your therapist's co-pay on Jaeger bombs.
I am incapable of maintaining a guy's interest in me. It's like erectile dysfunction but with feelings
She told me that for every Ravens touchdown, I'd get to come once.
Marry her. Marry her now. I'll help you steal the ring.
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
Just shaved my crotch so I could call it the bald eagle. Happy 4th.
Welcome to the club of "Sick of cleaning up actual shit." We meet on the 3rd Sunday of each month. Bring your ceremonial viking helmet.
Randomize
