I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
and this is why i am such an inspirational person, i am the Joel Osteen of alcoholics.
TRUE LIFE: my roommate is growing a bush.
better yet, TRUE LIFE: my roommates boyfriend begged her to grow a bush.
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
Apparently telling a group of crying girls that it looks like they need a visit from Dr. Phil isn't the best pickup line.
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
i think i left a case of beer in your dryer
I swear if she asks me for a baby one more time I'm gonna sleep with one of her friends
Yes. We drank 3/4 of a handle of vodka, fried and ate a 3lb package of bacon, I tackled the neighbors snowman, made snow angels in our underwear, and then fucked all night. Christmas success.
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
Yeah but the jokes on her right? We just got a new couch and hers still has a cum stain on it from like six months ago
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