So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
Regardless, you never quit out of your interenet. You left your porn on the living room comp. Then you passed out four feet from the chair with your hand still down your pants. We decided that we should go back to her place instead. Worlds best wingman.
omh. i just found SHIT IN THE SHOWER! who the fuck does that? and why do i always seem to find it?
i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
Been considering the feasibility of adopting a kangaroo. Yes I'm very serious. And yes I'm very high.
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
The guy at the ER said it was the first time he's given stitches for a funneling accident. Then he seemed upset that I took pride in that...
At the start of the night I was all 'come at me universe' and three hours later I was ordering an extra large pizza in bed in the dress I had gone out in. Well played universe.
ugh I gave him morning sex and he doesn't even text me back for my bagel order
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
I'm taking pictures of my asshole to send to my boss. This is not what I had in mind the day after thanksgiving.
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