Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
You probably havent been upstairs if you think that the microwave missing its door is bad
You know it was a good weekend when; you leave a bi-lingual letter of apology on top of a stack of cash for hotel housekeeping.
my neighbors having band practice on sunday morning is a message from the universe that I should stop drinking
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
We thought it was a good idea to send a picture to our HS science teacher where she's smoking a joint and I'm holding a monkey, and he invited us to lunch. NEW LEVEL UNLOCKED.
I can't. I'm not drunk enough for this information.
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
I have a gay crossdressing neighbor that's dresses up as a slutty pirate. 6 beers from now I would have hit on him. I hate halloween.
I partied with 2 slutty ninja turtles from Sweden last night, I Love Halloween.
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
I feel awkward having to tell people “sorry you can’t finger me because I will get a UTI and I don’t have health insurance”
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
Randomize
