Dude I just witnessed a midget touching himself and singing the chorus to somebodys watching me by michael jackson... it kinda turned me on
last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
My 3rd grade teacher, who was also my fav, thought i was in prison. That seriously upsets me.
i just overheard my mom tell my dad he should drink less so he could hit the right hole
dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
He turned me down because he was still doing his taxes.
I have a cup of vodka in my bathroom with a straw in it. Yes, I am ready for this bikini wax.
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
When I was leaving this morning he gave me some candy off his floor to prove he was a nice guy... He definitely knows the way to my heart. Best one night stand ever
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
Got a $290 noise violation last night for shouting "THE KING OF THE NORTH" til 2 am
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
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