Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
I woke up wearing just my underwear and a headlamp at a different house than I remember passing out at. I told you irish car bombs are not made with an entire guinness.
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
She slapped his drink out of his hand to get him to leave the bar while he and I were having an intense debate about the lyrics to mmmbop
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
Do you know what your brother wants for his birthday?
Yeah he said he wants a decent blowjob for a change.
.......
I'm just looking out for you.
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
We were destined to go to rehab together
Everyone here knows me as 'that chick who will most likely steal your girlfriend'. My 99% success rate tells me this name is acceptable.
you can only text me tonight if its in drake lyrics. thats the rule
Well if I can't snuggle you, I might as well snuggle a stranger's cat.
Hey, do you know the person who woke me up last night at 1 in the morning yelling and being carried through the courtyard?
That was me Mom...
I think I just sharted jello shots
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
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