I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
I closed that bar. Sang every Beatles song in the book. Made Somoan friends.
Dude that musta been some handjob last night. The sound of her pandora bracelet kept waking me up
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!
my brain is opting to stay half drunk rather than relearn how to think. the rest of me is in no position to argue.
Naked chocolate chip pancake making. I just spilled mix all over the place. My boobs are covered in flour. This is not going well.
Made him watch 4 hours of HGTV then told him I was too tired for sex.
Savage
Cocaine bath bombs are a really bad idea
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
He in a way got kinda cockblocked by Jesus
I woke up on the damn lawn again...it's not even summer yet
Randomize
