Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
so im decorating easter eggs with my family and my mom is writing "Jesus is risen" and "God loves you!" on the eggs. i wrote things like "I'm naked!" and "there are drugs in these eggs!" on mine.
i just entered cocaine into my calorie counter.
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
My public calorie counter app is pretty much just a cry for help.
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
I showed my cat the amount of coke I had. She looked concerned.
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
That same damn squirrel keeps staring at me like I did something wrong. Nature knows when you're hung over.
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
I got drunk. Then I took a shit.
It was a good shit
i shit you not. the flight is delayed because they have to change fucking light bulb. all the airport bars are closed and my shit is in checked luggage.
Randomize
