Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
By the grace of god and the ingenuity of Alexander Graham Bell, this text message is made possibe: YOU ARE A WHORE
I can hear my fat mexican neighbor yelling "do you like that!" ...I hope its not his dog
i was considerably less excited after they told me my present didnt have a penis
FYI don't ever, ever get a lap dance from a stripper who says " she's having a bad day " at a bachelor party.
Also just realized how inappropriate it looks to other drivers to finish bottles of cheap champagne at stoplights
some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
I know. I told you I'm a mess. She had weird nipples. I almost lost an eye to one.
A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
One failed naked backward somersault off the bed and I realize - I either need to drink less or workout more. Perhaps both.
She had like a side ponytail and hoop earrings though. And legwarmers. Like a horrible 80s nightmare. Don't drink and dream, dude.
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
Randomize
