You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
You were mumbling a lot and offered me 20 dollars to leave you alone
I'm doing laundry in pjs and heels, home alone with my margarita bucket.
Even my vagina gasped.
Escorted out of jimmy johns because I refused to leave with my dog. Stole a loaf of bread on the way out.
Next time you're baked eat baked beans and potato chips together. Like dip them in the beans. It's so good
Kyle found me outside his apartment in the hallway. Said he didn't hear me knock bt smelled alcohol through the door. I'm sucha bitch to my liver
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
I just had sex with a man wearing a Darth Vader helmet....he pressed the voice button the whole time that said "I am your father". I don't think I can ever come back from this
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
you were so high you asked for half double stack and half crispy chicken sandwich "welded together" in the wendy's drive through
Randomize
