it was almost as awkward as hearing my parents on friday nights in 2 in the morning starting, and than hearing at 2:01 my dad getting up and my mom going "i should have married a man"
I hate myself for saying your mom and I have the same friday nights.
don't worry... so do I
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
I'm at breakfast at my kid's school and I have noted at least 3 other parents with last night's red wine mouth and bleary eyes. I don't know why I always get so paranoid.
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
I think my Halloween costume this year will be made entirely of pillows and I'll be Marshmellow girl or Kirby. That way I'm comfortable, warm, and if I fall over drunk I'm safe.
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
I started a USA chant at the bar last night for no reason, other than being plastered. Within 15 seconds, I was standing on a table and the whole bar was chanting but nobody knew why.
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
Have you ever got so drunk that you tasted the future?
i may or may not have bought a plane ticket for a russian cam girl to fly here. also, can you spot me $300 on rent?
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
Randomize
