Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
Halfway through banging her I realized that she was playing a sex playlist on her iPod...first time actually having sex to R.Kelly's "bump and grind"
I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
i think the bruises are from the grocery store. on separate occasions. i've been spending a lot of time drunk at the market lately.
i have a vague recollection of being in the parking deck around 4 this morning, and on monday morning i was naked on the roof.
that would mean it's on tape
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
IM TRYING TO BE RESPONSIBLE AND ALL I WANT TO DO IS FUNNEL CHEAP BEER AND SCREAM ABOUT HOW MUCH I LOVE OUR NATION
Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
Please come over. It's a pajama and burn-2016-in-effigy party
I don't remember that much at all. But I guess I met this guy from New Zealand and his dog, and then I punched someone in the face.
Remember that Czech tennis player I brought home from beer pong and banged on your couch last year? He just booty calle me. From the Czech Republic.
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
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