im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
What hospital were we in last night? Insurance needs to know
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
Just say its a British thing. They wont know Its not. And if they say you're not British, proposition them for a post-sex game of cricket.
If you take a post shower shit just get back in bed. You're better off starting your whole morning all over again.
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
I woke up and there was pizza slices on the fucking walls of my room
Do you always skip to "Baby Got Back" when fat girls show up at the bar?
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
I'm slowly getting to where I don't hate people anymore.
Never mind. Some random dude just walked past me and asked if I was having fun. I snarled at him. I might still kinda hate people.
I'm sexting with a 20 year old that has a foot fetish... This is what Sailor Jerry drives me to do.
As I was blowing him, he proceeded to tell me that his friend who I blew years ago gave me a five star review on my BJ skills. And, he agrees.
Atta girl.
so... i have a picture of you and three other girls making kissy faces at this giant stuffed banana you're holding. however, you seem to be violently screaming at it.
Those bitches did NOT have my back.
Wait what do you mean I BOUGHT A FUCKING HORSE LAST NIGHT?!?!
Randomize
