Did you go home with that guy without me?
Sorry boo - it's pouring and I found a boy with a car
I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
While sitting in bed naked eating ramen and watching the colbert report I realize why random sex happens.
I was so high I couldn't tell if they were goosebumps or herpes.
I just tried to sell my homemade "lightning bolt stencil for pubes" on Etsy.
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
Sorry I was drunk and left blood all over your back seat I was pretending to be in private Rayan and used your thong as a bandage
I found someone's tooth on the stairs when I was vacuuming, and my sister found a catheter in the men's bathroom... this cleaning job is dangerous
I just spent 20 minutes in a Subway trying to take a candid photo of the doppleganger of the guy I lost my virginity to instead of eating. That's all the evidence I need that my life is on track.
what's the least obnoxious place that i could barf on the bus?
SO HELP ME GOD THERE IS A SPIDER IN THIS PIZZA. IT IS VERY SMALL IT IS INSIDE THE CRUST AND IT IS ALIVE. I'M SO HUNGRY DO I KEEP EATING
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
Randomize
