I woke up on my floor...
I woke up with colors of the wind playing on repeat on my laptop...
Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
well i had to explain to their mom why the kids i babysit for won't stop repeating the phrase "nice juicy guido"
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
She's the only person who can pull off turning an outdoor patio heater tower into a stripper pole.
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
I'm glad our friendship can withstand laughing mid-blowjob during the diarrhea scene in Dumb & Dumber.
Make me food? I don't want to be a science experiment. I'm dunk. Holy shit. Drunk*. Let's do science.
I'm sitting in Madison square park surrounded by children thanking god I took emergency contraception
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
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