Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
Roommate is eating a chimichanga, watching Dr Doolittle 2 and weeping. His Tuesday hangovers make me feel better about my life.
Tonight, I'll be cleaning. And by cleaning, I mean drinking booze and spraying everything with Febreze.
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
i have to vacuum my washing machine now, asshole
All I did today was eat pizza and use my vibrator.
he's trapped himself under a bed and is screaming at a robot dog to give him a blowjob
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
Randomize
