it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
Casually had to file a missing persons report last night
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
It was going alright when lo and behold Tom the cock blocking tornado hits. He is the only man I know who doesn't want anyone to fuck girls.
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
No he can't come. I swear to gods he's "Why We Can't Have Nice Things" given physical form.
In case I die. I'm in ares truck with a bartender named Dave from chuys. JUST IN CASE. And let the people know my last words were suck my dick. My like literally.
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
I text the word "masturbation" so much, all it only takes my iPhone to auto-spell it is for me to type "mas".
Randomize
