Apparently he's never heard a queef, he totally thought I farted and got freaked out.
Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me.
i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
Its only 9:11 and I just somersaulted through a window. Its gonna be a good night
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
This is classic penis vs brain.
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
I threw up in my brother's Easter basket
HE'S FUCKING 19 YEARS OLD, HE CAN'T EVEN GET INTO A BAR WITH ME, WHAT MAKES YOU THINK I'LL LET HIM IN MY PANTS?!
Of course his biggest mistake was assuming that I ever gave a fuck to begin with.
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
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