i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
but the good news is i woke up with 15 dollars in my pocket so i probably sold my phone instead of puking on it
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
And I'm PMSing. So if I'm not crying, I'm masturbating.
apparently i told her i wouldn't press charges if she brought me food.
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
you spent the rest of the night making a recipe for mixed drink called "the new years bowel remover". it has 13 parts but judging from the bold all caps, the boiled avocado is the most important
You tried to put a condom on my dog, then he ate it.
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
"Fuck all you guys I'm going to be Cameltoe Spider-Man for Halloween."
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
And then the night went full on bisexual.
Dude I love you. So much. Thank u. I'm safea. In allysi lns car. Mine towed. If u loved me ud leand me 500 in the morning. Sleep on it nd let me know.
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
I smell of tequila and Im going to a funeral. This is my life.
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