yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
He's like the fucking Houdini of bras. Not only did I not feel him take it off I didn't find it until two days later.
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
Hey do you want me to wrap up that Jack in the Box you left in my gutter
FYI, your girlfriend is on her way to the ER. She tried to balance a bottle of jack on her chest. Smashed toes, blood all over patio. Call her, kinda funny though.
You told me to ditch them in the park, and when she jumped onto the car to stop us, you told me to scrape her off against a parked Jeep. That drunk.
I'm so tired of waking up with my bed full of deli meats.
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
I paid for lunch, then he made a bunch of holes in my wall and destroyed my bathroom.
You’re like one of those doomsday preppers, but for your vagina
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