That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
Just watched a fat girl on a scooter run into the back of a bus head first
You are the luckiest man alive
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
i don't know if this is a cannibal joke or a sexual innuendo, and i think that's a beautiful description of our relationship.
You were talking to yourself and eating cold cuts in the kitchen when I found you
I need you there. I need someone to glance at when other people inevitably annoy me.
meow
use your words like a big girl
i ran over your cat.
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
Randomize
