This is not my ceiling
Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
Gonna post on craigs list missed connections - "I was that really drunk bitch that threw up in your car. I'd like to pay for detailing"
I just shot gunned a beer for your birthday alone because you're too hungover at midnight to get out of bed. I'm not sure which of us is the bigger loser
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
I am a figure skater. You should know better than to let me get drunk near any patches of ice during Olympics season.
Fuck baseball, getting drunk and playing with kittens is the REAL national pasttime
I just puke and rallied at my anniversary dinner #winning
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
Randomize
