no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
There's nothing worse than waking up naked on the beach covered in sand and a family walking by.
Oh my god. I'm sorry if i peed on you last nite. I am truly disgusting
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
We where late for the party because we spent the last hour staring at a towl becase we thought it was a raccoon
I drunken agreed to go wedding dress shopping with a stranger at the bar yesterday. She sent me an email asking what days I am free.
Well. I guess talking about me stealing your wife may not be in the list of legit conversations
Stripper just cleaned my glasses with her nipple...
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
I think I'm dead. Also I think I stole $20 from a stripper.
You did. Then gave it to me.
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
DID YOU OR DID YOU NOT, PEE IN MY FUCKING TRASHCAN?!
Randomize
