I have no voice and feel like lukewarm beer.
There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
....ANDDD I just became confused during sexting and sent my mother a text describing a "porno-worthy cum shot."
I was to drunk to drive all the way up there, so we just had rough phone sex instead
you just started pointing at the light and whispering "star wars"
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
After my mom met Tanner, she literally turned and said "he's from old money, top of his class at Emory, already has doctors courting him for jobs and judging from your vocal performance the other night, he's gifted in bed. Fake a pregnancy right now"
I come from her. Holy hell.
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
Like we were literally doing coke off his insulin pump
I'm the only person I know who could have actual sex and then dream about my vibrator.
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
Randomize
