there is nothing more satisfying than playing sudoku while pooping
She calls her new ritual "bed, bath, and beyond crunk". Hence why I found her passed out in my bath tub this morning.
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
He's stoned as shit, eating breakfast cereal and taking a dump. All while listening to dubstep. We may never understand him.
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
Also you know what's worse than drunk texting? Drunk leaving soup on your hot neighbor's porch.
you said you didn't want to carry the pizza box so just folded up the pizza and put it in your pocket
No judgement. Sometimes you gotta twerk on a legends face.
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
I just ate your leftovers whilst watching Garfield and Friends. Thank you across the board.
We are best friends because we can vomit simultaneously in the same toilet and not care
Waxing your own asshole is awkward and difficult at best.
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
Randomize
