you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
I have to talk to myself and be all "you are NOT horny tonight"
I have a boner and a quesadilla why aren't you here
Why do i feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear?
Apparently I stole windex from the cab driver. Klepto Tom strikes again.
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
You got stoned and bought $300 worth of pudding. Again! Why do YOU think she left you?
You spilt a drink on my couch, then used my dog to mop it up... you called her a mop dog, repeatedly
I should have known when she said it would be "fun" we'd end up in the hospital
Randomize
