it glows. i had to have it.
He held me the entire night. Not endearing kind of way. Like kidnapping or held hostage kind of way.
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
So the same day I accidentally bought waterproof mascara is the day I accidentally had shower sex. The world is finally on my side.
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
You insisted on squirting shots of captain morgan in your mouth with a turkey baster by like 930.
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
Remember when we pinky swore we'd never feel hungover alone...
If you ever bitch out on 72oz margarita night again, this friendship is over
I found him stumbling up to our building with a solo cup under his arm. . . He told me it was his favourite thing ever. He also told me hes never been drunk before.
So on a scale of 1 to Friendship-Over, how mad would you be if a rando I brought home sharted on the shag carpet in the living room?
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
I literally wonder, frequently, "Will anyone ever fuck me until i go cross eyed for 2 hours again?''
Damn you. I'm in a bar with Southern Jesus Fearing Blah Blah Rednecks WHO ARE PROBABLY VOTING FOR TRUMP and you go radio silent.
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
Randomize