either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
Just saw a homeless guy with a sign that said "Family abducted by aliens. Need money for ransom" and on the back of the sign it said "And it's only $.88"
So not only just find my adoption papers that I didnt know about in my parents house, but they say "child shows some signs of mental retardation".
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
Woke up with an epic boner today, the kind where you can spin books and shit on it. FYI: don't try spinning an encyclopedia
The boys in front of me put beer, red plastic cups, ping pong balls, lighterfluid, and twelve packs of pantyhose on the conveyor belt. Whatever drinking game they're playing, I want a part in.
We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
Only I can have a panic attack in the back seat of a cop car and have them move me to the front seat.
I knew it would be an interesting night when he showed up at my house on a scooter wearing a six foot american flag as a cape.
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
He called my boobs fluffy. Part sexy part pilsbury dough boy. Part sexy pilsbury dough boy. I'm so confused. And flattered?
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
Randomize
