My pee smelled like sake this morning it was sooo disgusting.
just thought you should know that she got home at about 6am.... totally wasted. she was locked out and when i finally came to the door she was on a patio across the street with some random making hotdogs on somebodys elses bbq.
I'm so fucking pissed that I wasted my shooting star wish on him and his little penis.
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
A. What the fuck are period panties? B. Don't ever wear them around me... or bears.
At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
How did you get him out of the shower last time?
Order Taco Bell and leave a trail of burritos leading to his bed.
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
She didn't complain to the library attendant about us being too loud. She complained after you grabbed her highlighter off the table to stir vodka into your tumbler with.
And change of plans today, I'm gonna lay in bed and eat taco bell and try not to die. Brazilians another day.
Sitting across the table from one of my high school teachers who hasn't seen me since I was about 16 drinking a beer wearing a leotard
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