How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
I have a new fascination with cutting really small segments of hair off peoples heads when they're not looking.
I just found glitter on my vibrator... whatever we're doing has to stop
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
So I totally just used margarita salt for a body scrub.
I swear to go if the response she sends me something along the lines of who the fuck is Mark Hamill I might need to brake up with her.
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
Is it acceptable to pay for WiFi on flights solely for the purpose of getting on Tinder to find a sugar daddy on the plane that doesn’t mind upgrading me to first class?
Do it. You’re flying for two weddings. You’re gonna need that first class.
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
im on a boat
How did you get this number?
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