How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
i now have a sippy cup solely for the purpose of drinking alcohol out of...am i an alcoholic?
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
I don't know. I woke up in the back of a cab in a drive thru line at whataburger with police lights flashing and my friend yelling" you didn't have to sell us out phil!" to the cab driver.
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
I feel like I'm taking part in a surprise porno. At least my hair looked good.
How did our waiter from olive garden end up passed out drunk in my roommate's bed?
I am alternating between eating dry cheerios and mint chocolate chip ice cream with a fork. Please love me because no one else will
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
every time someone would wish me happy birthday I would be like "thanks happy birthday to you too"
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
And you seriously thought you could just walk in naked with a bow tied around your penis?
It seemed like a good idea at the time...
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