his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
The voicemail says i shouldn't bother ever showing my face there again, i don't understand
We visited your boss last night. guess you wont be paying the rent this month, eh?
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
I'm by the dj to the left. Come get me now this girl is talking about baby names and I dnt even no hers
I can't see you
I'm the only one that's wearing a tarzan outfit get your ass over here you douche
i can feel the knowledge leaking out of my brain
replace it with alcohol - nature abhors a vacuum
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
He came over in a blaze orange vest with a case of beer and a shotgun yelling about "Dove Season" then passed out in the lawn. There he lies
WHY ARE THERE SO MANY BURPS IN MY SMALL, INCREDIBLY ATTRACTIVE BODY
This isn't good. I can't find my mom. This is why we don't give her Fireball.
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
Idk what y'all are doing but I just want you to know I'm home and if I hear him say "slap it" one more time I'm moving out
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
So uh. Your future in porn. Would you be willing to wear an alien costume for it?
Randomize
