I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
There's nothing more uncomfortable than drifting into sexual fantasies on a roadtrip and realizing you have a boner with three other dudes in the car.
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole"
I would call you but I don't feel like these hands belong to me.
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
He put himself in the friend zone by calling me dude all night so I blew his friend. Judge me.
I apparently used the line "I'm a bouncer too so i would know if I were too drunk" then they asked me to leave.
Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking.
Definition of cool: he wants a back tattoo of three horses running through a "paisley explosion"
How did he even become this person? Like what drugs has he done??
Why does your life consist of lesbians, black guys and cats?
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
You fell while talking to a cop, then proceeded to acuse him of tripping you... he was arresting you for public intox.
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
Randomize