I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
He just knocked over the beer pong table... I haven't seen so much fail in one room since I watched "Mall Cop" with my grandma
I just found 3 condoms in my math textbook... in the probability section... Under dependent and independent events...
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
i probably shouldve stopped when i uncurled the curly straw in my cocktail because it was slowing me down
Your last day of twenties? OK. Then I'll give you til midnight. Then you turn into a pumpkin. A big, 30 year old pumpkin.
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
apparently my buddy was fucking on our couch downstairs so i decided it was necessary to walk downstairs naked in a hockey mask.
I just realized now that you're pregnant we can't use alcohol as currency
What, I can't laugh at my sister being driven crazy by Facebook randomly assigning chat significance to the guy she lost her virginity to?
I've had to take two showers today and it's not even 1 o'clock. Why won't this weekend wash off?
I don't know what she did to me last night, but the scratches on my back indicate that I had sex with a Bengal tiger last night.
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
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