I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
she just asked me to help her create a twitter page for edward cullen's hair.... seriously.
i forgot how awkward it is to meet new people sober
Pants on the Ground is the theme song of my life
i just went through and liked all 1,239 of her pictures instead of writing my english paper. don't tell her, i want her to be surprised
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
Just come back with most of your limbs...and your dick. Please and thank you
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
I thought you were single?
I am. But thats cuz no one wants to marry shame and regret doused in tequila. But thanks for reminding me ya dick.
I pulled out moves I did not even know I possessed, our fucking de-throned gods
I would just like to go ahead and accept my slut of the year award.
It's like 10 times better than an Oscar
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