Wearing these hooker shoes was a mistake
I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
Like he held up the condom afterwards, twirled it with his finger, and said "look at that load"
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
You added his wife on Facebook?! You're horrible at this mistress thing
What the hell did you do last night?
I embarrassed myself, my family, name, and possibly my country.
We moved the bed and she found my vibrator. The entire ride home was a montage of her singing "Are You Lonesome Tonight"
I woke up with an eye patch on, someone else's sweatshirt on, and no pants on. I hope it was a good night.
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