Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
I'm at a crab and wine festival with my dad. He just introduced me as his girlfriend to all of his co-workers. I am so drunk I thought he was serious.
Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
I just found out why they dont make table-dance tables out of glass.
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
I am sitting here. Drinking from a bottle of vodka. Eating shredded cheese from a bag and waiting on him to pick me up after he finishes with his girlfriend. This is what dreams are made of.
I can't keep up with all the guys you're banging. I'm just going to start referring to them by city of origin.
I take pride in being a married 31 year old who sleeps on her best friend's bathroom floor from time to time.
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
Leave it to me and my dad to puke on the same guy at the same bar 25 years apart
If Plan B had a rewards card I would have earned so many free tote bags by now
You're a disaster
Wanna date?
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
Randomize
