the vacuum is drunk
what?
i spilled my drink and tried to vacuum it and now the vacuum is drunk
Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
as if moving home wasnt embarassing enough, mom picked up my laundry while i was gone. guess who needs to find a new hiding spot for his cum towel..this guy.
So for Valentine's Day...I finally swallowed. I feel like I earned that steak.
In the middle of having sex with me, she reminded me that I was supposed to call my mom that morning. My penis has never retracted so quickly.
if i ever wake up in the morning and don't feel a boner in my asscrack then this relationship is over
AND WHAT FELONIES DID I MISS OUT ON WHILE SLUMBERING!?
If it wasn't for the fact that I drink during my lunch break I'm pretty sure I would have quit this job by now
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
WHERE THE FUCK IS MY ARM DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW DIFFICULT IS IS TO TYPE WITH ONE HAND
Well. Another one of my exes came out of the closet.
We're like a married couple, but we only have sex on college holidays and other people's birthdays.
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