i waited two years for her to sleep with me. it just didnt seem worth it.
she lost her virginity three hours after you dumped her.
are you serious?
A good ear swabbing is more orgasmic than sex with him
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
I never thought I would say this but I have to clean queso off my vibrator
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
Notice: I will be intoxicated and in your area this evening. To unsubscribe from my sexual solicitation list, reply 'fuck off'.
We could supplement the Tour with Edward Andre-hands. Because 40s are for the 99%.
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
I decided to start over my porn collection by deleting the old stuff. That was a sad piece of a pie chart...
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
Most of my life can be described like an HBO prison drama.
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
Fuck your fuckin pumpkin spice. You and your subtle differences frighten and disgust me.
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
Randomize
