Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
i never thought it was possible to fit gay, redneck and asian into the same sentence before i met you.
and this wasn't even the first one i'd hooked up with
Couple in the hotel room next to me keep fucking. When I hear her get close I call the room wait for them to stop and hang up. If I'm not getting any tonight then no one should.
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
Due to the events of st patties day last year I created a moral and ethical policy so that I won't get kicked out of the bar again. It mostly consists of not wearing pants so then I don't take them off at the bar.. and subsequently get kicked out.
We hotboxed his closet and accidentally lit some of his shirts on fire... do we have a fire extinguisher?
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
There should be a promo code on the Papa Johns website for "I have no moneys but if you send a cute delivery guy I will pay him in blow jobs."
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
Not gonna make it. My ovaries are playing laser tag
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
Randomize
