In honor of tonight, my penis will make an appearance
yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
He seriously just asked the doctor if taking the medicine for chlamydia was going to cut into his drinking time. Never let it be said that he is not dedicated.
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
WHAT THE FUCK. SUCH A BAD IDEA. YOU'RE NO LONGER IN CHARGE OF NOSE SUBSTANCES.
I keep replaying commercials about kittens frolicking and was crying nonstop. WILL MY PERIOD LAST FOREVER!?
Hello and welcome to the game 'Matt needs weed'! Rules are simple: first one to find a bag wins the fabulous prize of getting stoned with yours truly. Thank you for playing and good luck!!
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
Okay let's look at your past accomplishments you've done hungover... Sat great score, academic decathlon, state for track. I think you are solid to go out tonight
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
Plus my fingers were hella swollen from eating all these cured meats so it was like I was given it to her with Hulk Hands on
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
Just so you know, I choose to answer your bootytext tonight because it was the most creative.
Randomize
